Bring light into your life Burn, baby burn.....
Updated: Aug 28, 2018
You know that thing you do, that thing that your mind wanders to in quiet moments, that thing that lights you up when you talk about it, that thing that you wish you could do more often. That's your thing. That's what you're meant to do. That's what I reckon you are here to do.
Do a lot more of that.
I met a beautiful lady one time at a personal development seminar who spontaneously displayed the most incredible amount of sadness and anxiety when he was asked to perform a simple exercise.
In this exercise she was asked to simply remember a time in her life when she felt successful. To take her mind back to a past, or even recent event where she felt proud of who she was, felt she had achieved something meaningful to her.
The reason why this request made her crumble in realisation and then grief was that she could not bring to mind one single time when she felt this way about herself. I asked her to think of something on a realistic scale, something that we all may have achieved that would promote a sense of self pride and success - losing weight, securing a new job, becoming a mother. This too proved to be elusive, with no memories arising that she could connect to this feeling.
So, I asked her to 'imagine' what it felt like to feel successful. Surely, she had seen it in others, seen it portrayed in movies and media - what would the face look like, how would the body language portray this? Even acting in the 'as if', she struggled enormously with this task and was too devastated by the realisation to really commit to my request.
She did not know what successful felt like to her or even how that would look on her.
Something, I absolutely took for granted.
That sent me in to a flurry of questions for myself -who is it that defines success for us? Why does it matter if we are 'successful' or not, can't we just base our motives on whether or not it feels good, or feels right? In a culture of competitiveness and academic assessment and comparison to other people, why the hell do we judge ourselves so harshly?
If only success wasn't based on how we look, our bank balance, how many 'things' we've achieved, how many qualifications we have accumulated. How wonderful would it be if we said, 'every day I do something I get immense satisfaction from, I am loved and loving, I have all of my needs met. I am a success!'
Determine your own success definition, don't allow the social construct to TELL you how it is.
Wake up, do what feels good, do what feels right and spread that positivity and happiness in your wake.